Peace be to you!
I guess turning 50 was a big deal. I still felt like I was in my 30’s yet I noticed I carried a certain gravitas with every step I took. I began to slow down. Kinda like that joke in the movie COLORS when Robert Duval says to the son bull that we should not run down a f&#% one of them, but walk down and fu#( them all. I have been walking slower lately (not by choice) but with the click of my cowboy boots, I seem to be giving off some sort of macho signal. Walking slow with the hard click of a hickory heel down a hall does hanker for attention. Too bad it is because I have no hurry to get anywhere. I just like the slow pace of confidence and cock certain assurance. However, dumb assed people seem to view that as arrogance; that is just too bad for them because I do not give a …….
I am sure that there are those who view this as threatening. I could care less what people think. I will be turning 51 later this week. I am now too old to care but still young enough to get winked at. Confidence is sexy. Arrogance is like a sweaty sinking armpit and extremely foul breath AND a wet stinky warm fart rolled into one….no one like it. Needless to say, I have been apt to clean myself a little more with a little bit longer lasting cologne. I have also started a Winchester Goatee….I kinda like it. At first the salt and pepper appearance was curious but now, I am just owning it. I mean, I will be turning 51 soon. Why should I start caring now
What has me twisted up is my turning 51 proper. I struggle to know and except that there are more days behind me (especially in my professional life) than in front of me. I am looking very much forward to the next chapter in my life since I do not know what that it. I do know that I want to work, I do want to get away from education (more on that in a future blog) and I want to think about retiring somewhere in the woods with a dog, a guitar, a recording studio board and a place to take a mid night swim where no one can see anything in the water…except the reflection of the moonlight and the twinkling of the stars in the distant horizon….(Holy Moley, did I just write that? Must be the beer I am currently chugging.)
As I get older, my dad came over for dinner with me and mi esposa. My beloved wife was sleeping when my dad came in and I walked him into the kitchen. We had dinner waiting for him and we decided to go outside and build a fire in the pit out back. As my dad gets older, he is more open to talk to me about the passing of my mom (his wife of 57 years) For about 19 months, he has NOT accepted (his words: wrapped his mind around it) until about 3 weeks ago….As my wife came outside to join us, I began to understand the depths of my father’s love for my mother. I still fall deeper in love with my wife daily. I do love her more each day.
A 23 year old girl from work asked me out for drinks tomorrow night. I told her I would ask my wife. ….Flattered, as my ego inflates to lion size, I can only look back at this moment and hope she can come to the realization how silly that question is. Yes, I was mildly amused and like I wrote earlier, flattered, but my heart and soul is all of my wife’s. Like my dad showed me how to love my mother.
As I finish up this post, I ask all of you for your prayers for my dad, my wife and my children: E, R, J and my adopted Spiritual aborted children I prayed for John, Rachel and Amanda. Along with my unknown siblings as I learned recently my mother and father were BOTH in married relationships previously to their own. My mom had a child who was killed in an auto Accident and my father is not sure if he had any children before my mom.
I know, I know that may blow your mind but as I wrote earlier, that is just too bad for you because I do not give a …….
Bye now, and God Love you!