GRATEFUL for the Holidays…..now

Peace be to you!

Hey Kids, did you know that the holidays are approaching and very quickly.  It’s hard to believe that we are less than 13 days away from Halloween as of this posting.  I have to be in the mood to see Christmas trees before the holidays because we live in a society in which each holiday is on display in stores across the country months before it even happens.  We begin looking at Christmas stuff almost immediately after the back-to-school supplies are put away.

The holiday:  Lately, I have welcomed them a bit more then I have in the past. I am now LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS. My wife and I went to a box store here in town and I noticed a Section devoted to Christmas decorations and at first, my knee jerk reaction was “let’s keep walking” but then, I found myself thinking of Christmases past. Here is where I was a few hours ago. My oldest Son is 2 years into his career as a Production Director for a Fox affiliate in Ill.  Again, I know, I know.  “You’re bragging about your family again right? (Insert a heavy dose of deep fatherly pride)   My Middle boy is working as STARBUCKS while attending a State College FULL TIME. And our youngest loves his Senior Year at RHS. And when I really think about what it is that is causing this HUGE step forward, it is clear.  The holidays and my job situation have changed. Although the Holidays are VERY heavy with tradition: a time for families to come together, gifts, words of thankfulness.  It truly is a beautiful time of year and one that to which I have not always looked forward to until 2016.

In the past, I have been so overwhelmed with my passion of my work that I have missed passing out Halloween candy (where my wife did it alone).   Her Preparing Thanksgiving dinner alone because I would have a football game and had to prepare the band, she would be Christmas shopping alone. But we (thanks to my beautiful and devoted wife) She would MAKE me slow down and start Watching Christmas movies together as a family. We would take our time waking up Christmas morning before the boys would wake up and help Santa; Christmas day was when we would have “Roast Beast”.  We would visit my mom (R.I.P.) on her birthday.  And the best traditions we have is New Year’s Eve when would be alone on our bed and celebrate the year as it passes into a memory.  Let me be clear, I have been sitting in the lonely rooms of my heart because my job was more important than the holidays….but now; I see them as HOLY days with My wife and me surrounded by family and friends.

But those traditions of work are no longer and my pride is no longer bruised. I am thankful for the traditions of work have changed and the opportunities for new family ones are coming!!! .  And it’s as exciting as when I first laid eyes on my wife. What will we start to do? Where will we go and travel to? Who will we visit now that we have time open?  And I DO NOT miss working so hard.  But, like so many other things that have happened over the course of the 17 and a half years, I refuse to waddle in the past because I can’t change this.  It is what it is.  I need to move forward and thinking about it; I am doing so with great enthusiasm and purpose.  I have thought it would not be easy, but with my wife whom by my side (she is my other self).  I had a hard time walking away from the job. But now, my wife and boys are planning family time with ME. Read that again,…..WITH ME.  My wife has delicately woven family traditions into our (me and the boys) very being.  When my work took over, they just slip away.

So I chose to let those traditions slip away, but because of my wife, she has let me know how I manage the aftermath.  And I can tell you that I did not handle it well the first 17 years.   But I am okay with that because my family has a forgiving heart and has welcomed me back with love that I do not deserve.

This year has been different.  Instead of Band Camp, My wife and I went zip lining in Virginia , Instead of Home football games on Friday Nights and my wife having to be a band-mom, My wife and I spend time with each other. We have sat around my fire ring, drank some beer together, cuddled on the couch to watch CUBS Games/Notre Dame Football and here is a great one, WE WILL BE taking a vacation for Valentines Day to our new time share condo (that was gifted to me by my EX-High School Girlfriend….yea, I know. Doesn’t this stuff happen to everybody??Wife is cool with that) as well as other stuff. , I don’t want to be pissed/crabby/angry/miserable because of my job took me away from my family because Mi Esposa and I will be enjoying “the most wonderful tiiiiiiiimmee of the year”.  I want to enjoy each moment of it and only with her and the boys.  I want to cherish the time with my family and friends rather than spend the time damning the past witch is indeed in the past.  My Uncle Pedro have said this before many times while rip roaring drunk or just after receiving an award for his charity work in Mexico:  “Time is really precious Eddie, you never know when this moment is the last moment so be present in it and never ever give a SH*# about what anyone thinks… What’s even better is if you can, let them know their drama entertains you. Now shut up and go get me a beer”….If you are reading this, trust me, you would LOVE to meet my Uncle. He was the inspiration for the Dos Equees Beer Commercials featuring the most interesting man in the world. (GO AHEAD, GOOGLE IT)

So, instead of a Football Game on Thanksgiving or on BLACK FRIDAY, We will be HOSTING the family get together in addition to CHRISTMAS. This year it will include My Sister, My Dad, My in-laws and ALL my wife’s brothers family……I am SOOOOO looking forward to this because I bet I will like to do this every year.

It’s a chance to change things.  It’s a chance to no longer focus on work and focus on the entire family. I have missed so much with my boys and family because of the job that I need to QUICKLY let go of the hurt.  I realized that I had to make a change or I would forever be stuck in that spot.  But now my new spot has my wife and family in it waiting for me with open arms

As Charles Dickens wrote “Love her, love her, love her! If she favours you, love her. If she wounds you, love her. If she tears your heart to pieces – and as it gets older and stronger, it will tear deeper – love her, love her, love her!”

I believe my wife and family read this quote before I found it. (ok, its taken from a Christmas Movie….)

Bye now, and God Love you!

 

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