My first “night show” at Band Day at the Indiana State Fair 2017

Peace be to you….

Yesterday was the culmination of an career goal almost 29 years of trying. I am proud to say that I never gave up…but wanted to sooooo many times.

Yesterday, the band I am co-director of:  Montgomery County United Marching Band and Color Guard participated in the 2017 Indiana State Fair Band Day Competition. And for the first time FOR ME, The band I work with made it to finals. We made the night show!!! the Sweet 16….State Finals;  What an experience!

I saw video of me when our band secured one of the top 16 spots….I Threw my papers in the air, yelled to the top of my lungs “YEEEEAAAA” (ala Roger Daltrey), than fell prostrate on a filthy clay dirt track.  I have been semi numb ever since. What’s more special is my wife has been with me the entire time. She has seen many failures in my career but they were not bad. They made most of my students better as I continued to push myself to get better and better. I never gave up on getting better at what I do…..Never

When we first started getting together at rehearsals, I made it a point to try and learn as many names as I could at this new band. I did and heard stories from the older students that last year, this band went as far as 17 last year…meaning they did not get to the night show. Many of the kids from South were devastated and wanted redemption. You see, one music judge gave them a terribly low score that did not match any of the 7 judges scores at all. This one judge caused all the numbers (once averaged out) to fall below the sweet 16 threshold….I resolved that I was pull out the stops and use all my skills, all my powers and use up all favors to ensure that i give my best 100% of the time. Just like this amazing team that I am a part.

This is what I came into: a great set of people who brings their strengths to our weaknesses; we balance out each other out for the benefit of the students we serve. We have temperance, wisdom, experience, passion, ability to solve problems, precision, friendliness, perseverance, musical ability, visual ability, effect ability, musicianship of a high calibre, a high concentration of the basics (“fun-sies”) …..high expectations from all of us, high results from all of us…..we are Baseball and Fans, followers of DCI, have families, aspirations and dreams,ect.

How could one not succeed with a fine group of people like this? It is great to have an administration of school officials who believe in the arts like ours do and support OUR ideas to make it happen. They do not micromanage but get out of our way to ensure success since they already believe in the program. They show up to most every rehearsal, some show up to EVERY rehearsal and even the band parents of SHS help out in more ways they can possibly know to make all of our jobs easier.

We also are all friends; like a tight clique that would welcome everyone…so as long as the kids are the focus and not “egos”. I have learned that we do not like ego…ego is bad…ego does not advance a goal…..ego is a narcissistic route to the self and the spotlight to the self…..that is not our bag, man.

Man, this zombie dust is really good tonight…..

Last night was the last time we will perform “Home is where the heart is”. This was a great show because of the people listed above took a slightly below average drill and less then “ok written” music book to a level that reflected a group of students willing to set aside school rivalries and focus on the music and the pageantry arts to become a state finalist high school marching band and color guard.

…..School starts in 2 days and I have already worked an entire summer. I get 3 days off for the summer……but I would not have it any other way…..We played at the night show and it was wonderful.

Bye now, and God love you.

P.S.

 

ROSES AND CANDY WORK on VALENTINES DAY!!!!

Peace be to you!

If you are like me and have for years bought into the line that “oh, you don’t need to buy me anything special on Valentine’s Day” then this post is especially for you. It seems like the MOST DIRECT communication you have had in years and you believe it. My advise it to you is QUIT LISTENING TO IT. She wants the roses and candy on Valentines Day. So NOT buying her anything is like her “saying” NO when she really means HECK YES!!!

Let me explain.

Yesterday, was Valentines Day and at 2 of my 3 jobs, Women came in and BRAGGED they got roses, flowers, a giant teddy bear, candy, chocolates, affection….and those who did not laughed it off like “just another made up Hallmark holiday” but as a 51-year-old man who NOW notices the little things that women do that are non-flirtatious, those who didn’t get anything were a bit crushed and even one young married teacher was plunged deep in her well that screamed: “I am no longer young and pretty to be even noticed”. I came back with “have you ever said oh, you don’t need to buy me anything” line?

“Well, yes but,  if he really loved me then he should know that…..

I stopped her RIGHT THERE and said….Well, Some Man listened to you and isn’t that what you want??

SILENCE

I am going to go out and call out those who Limbaugh calls the Feminazis and place this blame directly at your  Birkenstocks  sock wearing feet. You have done more to screw up the relationship of a Man and a Woman than any other political or social construct. Gender Specific is reality and the 2 sexes are co-equal, meaning….They are co-equal. Each has a weakness that the other has strength to balance out. No one can deny the equal pay thing and the equal opportunity thing but NOT at the expense of men acting like Gentlemen….(Let’s distinguish between the boorish and the ideal definition of a man…do on your own)

I got to give Mr. Trump props. This is what an ALPHA Male does. He protects in spite of overwhelming criticism and attacks. He does not seek affirmation from anyone except his woman. You know ladies, that part in the bible that says submit to your husbands, Let me translate that in 21st Century speak: ladies, you have to lower your communication ability so we can understand you. We are hard-wired to hear direct communication. Do you know some men do not even recognize when you twirl your hair and look at our lips when you talk to us?…YES, we don’t get your non verbal clues.

When a man sees a woman RUN over to hug her man who is NOT him, he will ask….what did I miss? Why can’t my woman hug me like that? I DO EVERYTHING SHE ASKS…..And yes, you are correct, you listen to her and instead of treating her like a woman, we treat her like an equal….equal to us….like another “man” and THAT means: NOT LISTENING. By listening to the “oh, you don’t need to buy me anything” what we are hearing is “treat me like one of the guys” because that is how you would treat your main man, your wingman, you “guy”, your homie, your @#*$&^@ partner in crime. AND THAT IS NOT What she is saying …but then again, she does not speak nor understands how a man thinks about honor. She understands the sex thing. ALL men make that obvious and it is not the subject of this post.

So if you sent us your non verbal cues as to wanting something we did not get the memo. If you tried to send us subtle hints…..it did not register….if you told us”oh, you don’t need to buy me anything”. We heard you loud and clear…..how is that for communication? That is not what you wanted…you wanted Roses and Candy.  But we heard, lazy couch time because that is what we (BURP) like…..

Give us a reason (from another man perspective) to hang out and we will belch, fart, cuss, laugh and most of all….stay silent for long periods of time. We as men and especially YOUNG men  NOW just want to hang out with people. YOUNG MEN do not even date anymore. Why do young men no longer want to date women? Another post.

When we hear the “oh, you don’t need to buy me anything” we hear….”oh, I don’t need to buy YOU anything”…..OK, Message received. So if you did not get what you wanted and think we should just get it because we love you, we won’t–because you said “oh, you don’t need to buy me anything”. And we are doing EXACTLY what you want BECAUSE we love you……See how that works?? OK you don’t. But ALL men do. So if the day comes and goes and nothing happened to you, not one shred of romance happened, did you say “oh, you don’t need to buy me anything” are you happy today? because your man is happy now that he has an extra 80 dollars in his pocket….enough for a new X-Box Game and he loves you.

I know I can tell you that there were a lot of happy women at my school/work today. Story after Story did I hear about roses, flowers, a giant teddy bear, candy, chocolates, affection and one lady spoke about how the flowers she received filled the room with its scent. Still one other told me she has not gotten flowers since she was 13. (She’s 35+ now). I have never seen “JJ” so happy. The smile across her face spoke of scare tissue around her heart at least melting away from the actions of her man.

So to wrap this up: Women—say what you want directly. Men, Shut up, don’t try and solve her problems, she does not need to be rescued she needs to be heard. That is why God gave us 2 ears and one mouth; LISTEN and UNDERSTAND HER…..and buy her more flowers

And speaking of men, I can also tell that there are a lot of less stressed men in my field of vision today. HOW? you ask?

because of their non-verbal looks, their sly smiles and a spring in their step.

BYE NOW, and God Love you!

The Chicago Cubs are going to the World Series!

Just checking that I didn’t dream that…..I have MANY times before.

Yes, its real.

I am loosing my mind with such excitement. I have NEVER felt this way before in all my life.

 

GRATEFUL for the Holidays…..now

Peace be to you!

Hey Kids, did you know that the holidays are approaching and very quickly.  It’s hard to believe that we are less than 13 days away from Halloween as of this posting.  I have to be in the mood to see Christmas trees before the holidays because we live in a society in which each holiday is on display in stores across the country months before it even happens.  We begin looking at Christmas stuff almost immediately after the back-to-school supplies are put away.

The holiday:  Lately, I have welcomed them a bit more then I have in the past. I am now LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS. My wife and I went to a box store here in town and I noticed a Section devoted to Christmas decorations and at first, my knee jerk reaction was “let’s keep walking” but then, I found myself thinking of Christmases past. Here is where I was a few hours ago. My oldest Son is 2 years into his career as a Production Director for a Fox affiliate in Ill.  Again, I know, I know.  “You’re bragging about your family again right? (Insert a heavy dose of deep fatherly pride)   My Middle boy is working as STARBUCKS while attending a State College FULL TIME. And our youngest loves his Senior Year at RHS. And when I really think about what it is that is causing this HUGE step forward, it is clear.  The holidays and my job situation have changed. Although the Holidays are VERY heavy with tradition: a time for families to come together, gifts, words of thankfulness.  It truly is a beautiful time of year and one that to which I have not always looked forward to until 2016.

In the past, I have been so overwhelmed with my passion of my work that I have missed passing out Halloween candy (where my wife did it alone).   Her Preparing Thanksgiving dinner alone because I would have a football game and had to prepare the band, she would be Christmas shopping alone. But we (thanks to my beautiful and devoted wife) She would MAKE me slow down and start Watching Christmas movies together as a family. We would take our time waking up Christmas morning before the boys would wake up and help Santa; Christmas day was when we would have “Roast Beast”.  We would visit my mom (R.I.P.) on her birthday.  And the best traditions we have is New Year’s Eve when would be alone on our bed and celebrate the year as it passes into a memory.  Let me be clear, I have been sitting in the lonely rooms of my heart because my job was more important than the holidays….but now; I see them as HOLY days with My wife and me surrounded by family and friends.

But those traditions of work are no longer and my pride is no longer bruised. I am thankful for the traditions of work have changed and the opportunities for new family ones are coming!!! .  And it’s as exciting as when I first laid eyes on my wife. What will we start to do? Where will we go and travel to? Who will we visit now that we have time open?  And I DO NOT miss working so hard.  But, like so many other things that have happened over the course of the 17 and a half years, I refuse to waddle in the past because I can’t change this.  It is what it is.  I need to move forward and thinking about it; I am doing so with great enthusiasm and purpose.  I have thought it would not be easy, but with my wife whom by my side (she is my other self).  I had a hard time walking away from the job. But now, my wife and boys are planning family time with ME. Read that again,…..WITH ME.  My wife has delicately woven family traditions into our (me and the boys) very being.  When my work took over, they just slip away.

So I chose to let those traditions slip away, but because of my wife, she has let me know how I manage the aftermath.  And I can tell you that I did not handle it well the first 17 years.   But I am okay with that because my family has a forgiving heart and has welcomed me back with love that I do not deserve.

This year has been different.  Instead of Band Camp, My wife and I went zip lining in Virginia , Instead of Home football games on Friday Nights and my wife having to be a band-mom, My wife and I spend time with each other. We have sat around my fire ring, drank some beer together, cuddled on the couch to watch CUBS Games/Notre Dame Football and here is a great one, WE WILL BE taking a vacation for Valentines Day to our new time share condo (that was gifted to me by my EX-High School Girlfriend….yea, I know. Doesn’t this stuff happen to everybody??Wife is cool with that) as well as other stuff. , I don’t want to be pissed/crabby/angry/miserable because of my job took me away from my family because Mi Esposa and I will be enjoying “the most wonderful tiiiiiiiimmee of the year”.  I want to enjoy each moment of it and only with her and the boys.  I want to cherish the time with my family and friends rather than spend the time damning the past witch is indeed in the past.  My Uncle Pedro have said this before many times while rip roaring drunk or just after receiving an award for his charity work in Mexico:  “Time is really precious Eddie, you never know when this moment is the last moment so be present in it and never ever give a SH*# about what anyone thinks… What’s even better is if you can, let them know their drama entertains you. Now shut up and go get me a beer”….If you are reading this, trust me, you would LOVE to meet my Uncle. He was the inspiration for the Dos Equees Beer Commercials featuring the most interesting man in the world. (GO AHEAD, GOOGLE IT)

So, instead of a Football Game on Thanksgiving or on BLACK FRIDAY, We will be HOSTING the family get together in addition to CHRISTMAS. This year it will include My Sister, My Dad, My in-laws and ALL my wife’s brothers family……I am SOOOOO looking forward to this because I bet I will like to do this every year.

It’s a chance to change things.  It’s a chance to no longer focus on work and focus on the entire family. I have missed so much with my boys and family because of the job that I need to QUICKLY let go of the hurt.  I realized that I had to make a change or I would forever be stuck in that spot.  But now my new spot has my wife and family in it waiting for me with open arms

As Charles Dickens wrote “Love her, love her, love her! If she favours you, love her. If she wounds you, love her. If she tears your heart to pieces – and as it gets older and stronger, it will tear deeper – love her, love her, love her!”

I believe my wife and family read this quote before I found it. (ok, its taken from a Christmas Movie….)

Bye now, and God Love you!

 

q & a WITH A HAPPY BLOGGER…ME

Peace be to you!

I recently got tagged on facebook with a set of questions that I felt I would like to post here. I thought they were clever and were wanted to add my acerbic wit to my post. This one is for fun and no other reason. I just want to stop taking myself as some sort of lame assed philosopher who likes to hear himself bloviate ….(is that the right word???) Thanks Jimmy H. for this post. ANSWERS IN CAPS……..Here goes:

Can you fill this out without lying? NO
1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth? 3 FLOYDS BEER…..ZOMBIE DUST
2. Where was your profile on facebook picture taken? SQUEALERS
3. Do you play Pokemon Go? NO
4. Name someone who made you laugh today? STUDENTS ON MY DRUMLINE AT SCHOOL
5. How late did you stay up last night and why? 1OPM… WORKED 15 HOURS YESTERDAY
6. If you could move somewhere else, where would be? NEXT TO MY WIFE
7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? I DONT RECALL
8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? WIFE
9. Do you believe ex’s can be friends? YES
10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper? RATHER NOT
11. When was the last time you cried? WHEN MY MOM passed
12. Who took your profile picture? MY YOUNGEST SON’S GIRLFRIEND
13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? MY SNARE-LINE
14. Was yesterday better than today? NO
15. Can you live a day without TV? Yes
16. Are you upset about anything? YES
17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? THE GREAT ONES ARE…OTHERS ARD A CASE BY CASE BASIS
18. Are you a bad influence? YES…OH HELL YES
19. Night out or night in? NIGHT ON….YES,A NIGHT ON
20. What items could you not go without during the day? MY RECORD PLAYER
21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? MY DAD
22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? SPAM
23.How do you feel about your life right now? WORRIED ABOUT MONEY
24. Do you hate anyone? PEOPLE IN ISIS
25 . Has anyone ever called you perfect? JUST ONE, my mom
26. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? A REAL EMERGENCY
27. Name something you have to do tomorrow? TEACH
28. Do you think too much or too little? WAY TOO MUCH
29. Do you laugh a lot? YES….TOO MUCH
30. Do you have any fears? DISAPPOINTING MY DAD

 

RIGHT NOW, I AM RATHER DRUNK ON ZOMBIE DUST AND I HAVE MARGRET GLASPY’S NO MATER WHO SONG ON LOOP…..AND YOU KNOW WHAT, I COULD CARE LESS IF MY CAPS ARE LEFT ONE…..

 

“EVEN THE WEAKEST OF THE WEAK HAVE COME AROUND” …MARGRET GLASPY

 

 

BYE NOW AND GOD LOVE YOU

CAMPING!!! ….with me and my wife. True Alone time with each other!

Peace be to you,

Do you know what I love to do with my wife? Camp. We both get all excited to head in my truck, plan for about 4 days and gather all our gear to run out to nature and hope to find a nice trail to see God’s Green earth, make a camp fire, have a beer, play cards, hold hands, talk, share, listen, walk some more, share with each other our goals, triumphs, stumbles, mis-steps, victories, make love, listen to the crickets, the dogs,  the deer and if we are lucky, hear distant thunder far, far away….. ALL while not caring if we shower…yes we stink and yes, we get sweaty but being outside and smelling like camp fire smoke covers all that up nicely.

My wife will plan all the food, all the reservations, all the activities,  and I will plan what we need in terms of gear. Tents, cooking stuff, blankets, beer, fire wood, food prep, cast iron, coffee etc. When we hit the camp ground, we will scout out our lot and clean up the rocks/twigs/brush. When you camp, you got to make sure the place you lay down is clear so you do not toss and turn at night.

One thing happened the last time we went camping was there was a young couple who had young children and the two adults were just screaming at each other. They were fighting and long story short, they left at 10pm and left a fire burning, towels everywhere, propane tanks, clothes…..they were too young to be in that adult situation. The children became fearful and cried as the 2 older “parents” swore and cussed at each other within ear shot of the little kids……..Some people should not be allowed to copulate. It was a most uncomfortable situation and we both felt bad for the kids.

One very cool thing is when we wake up before the rest of the camp ground. The fire is still burning with hot coals and no flames, the air is still. there is no sound, the sun is rising and the moon is setting. Sometimes there is a chill in the air and my other self (my wife) will ask that I start some coffee going as she lays unwithered in her warm sleeping bag all snuggled in tight. I have ALWAYS dug Sun rises. I like sunsets as well ever since I read the S.E Hinton novel THAT WAS THEN, THIS IS NOW, Pony Boy loved sunsets….so did and still do, I.

AS the coffee starts to boil, my wife will plan the day: She will share with me her plans for a beautiful nature hike, sitting on a dock and watching the stillness of the water as we slurp our coffee in an attempt to warm up. We will wish each other good morning, kiss and just be with each other. Don;t get me wrong, the intimacy  we share does not have to be physical. Many times, we love each other and many times, we are silent with each other. A kiss for the beginning of the day and off we go.

I wish ALL of you reading this blog, (both of you) can meet my wife. She is my best friend, My biggest supporter, the smartest person I know, the kindest person I know, the best mother in the world and among other things, my lover. I know all of you would love her. As Paul McCartney wrote, She rights me when I am wrong, Maybe I;m Amazed at the way I really need you.

Sunsets…”Stay Golden, Ponyboy.”

Bye now, and God Love you.

 

 

 

 

Turing 51 (Wednesday, Sept 28th 2016)

Peace be to you!

I guess turning 50 was a big deal. I still felt like I was in my 30’s yet I noticed I carried a certain gravitas with every step I took. I began to slow down. Kinda like that joke in the movie COLORS when Robert Duval says to the son bull that we should not run down a f&#% one of them, but walk down and fu#( them all. I have been walking slower lately (not by choice) but with the click of my cowboy boots, I seem to be giving off some sort of macho signal. Walking slow with the hard click of a hickory heel down a hall does hanker for attention. Too bad it is because I have no hurry to get anywhere. I just like the slow pace of confidence and cock certain assurance. However, dumb assed people seem to view that as arrogance; that is just too bad for them because I do not give a …….

I am sure that there are those who view this as threatening. I could care less what people think. I will be turning 51 later this week. I am now too old to care but still young enough to get winked at. Confidence is sexy. Arrogance is like a sweaty sinking armpit and extremely foul breath AND a wet stinky warm fart rolled into one….no one like it. Needless to say, I have been apt to clean myself a little more with a little bit longer lasting cologne. I have also started a Winchester Goatee….I kinda like it. At first the salt and pepper appearance was curious but now, I am just owning it. I mean, I will be turning 51 soon. Why should I start caring now

What has me twisted up is my turning 51 proper. I struggle to know and except that there are more days behind me (especially in my professional life) than in front of me. I am looking very much forward to the next chapter in my life since I do not know what that it. I do know that I want to work, I do want to get away from education (more on that in a future blog) and I want to think about retiring somewhere in the woods with a dog, a guitar, a recording studio board and a place to take a mid night swim where no one can see anything in the water…except the reflection of the moonlight and the twinkling of the stars in the distant horizon….(Holy Moley, did I just write that? Must be the beer I am currently chugging.)

As I get older, my dad came over for dinner with me and mi esposa. My beloved wife was sleeping when my dad came in and I walked him into the kitchen. We had dinner waiting for him and we decided to go outside and build a fire in the pit out back. As my dad gets older, he is more open to talk to me about the passing of my mom (his wife of 57 years) For about 19 months,  he has NOT accepted (his words: wrapped his mind around it) until about 3 weeks ago….As my wife came outside to join us, I began to understand the depths of my father’s love for my mother. I still fall deeper in love with my wife daily. I do love her more each day.

A 23 year old girl from work asked me out for drinks tomorrow night. I told her I would ask my wife. ….Flattered, as my ego inflates to lion size, I can only look back at this moment and hope she can come to the realization how silly that question is. Yes, I was mildly amused and like I wrote earlier, flattered, but my heart and soul is all of my wife’s. Like my dad showed me how to love my mother.

As I finish up this post, I ask all of you for your prayers for my dad, my wife and my children: E, R, J and my adopted Spiritual aborted children I prayed for John, Rachel and Amanda. Along with my unknown siblings as I learned recently my mother and father were BOTH in married relationships previously to their own. My mom had a child who was killed in an auto Accident and my father is not sure if he had any children before my mom.

I know, I know that may blow your mind but as I wrote earlier, that is just too bad for you because I do not give a …….

Bye now, and God Love you!